This article is for guys who find they have a difficult time getting Jewish or Torah Observant girls to notice them, or worse to like them once they do get their attention. The list below offers ten simple tips, that if followed, will almost certainly enhance your chances of being liked by a girl.
1 – Check your personal hygiene. If there is one sticking point with women of any age, it’s personal hygiene. No matter how sweet you may be or kind or intelligent, if you smell bad or look as if you might if one were close enough to tell, you’re simply never going to get close enough to most girls to even find out if they may ever like you. Also, take care of your teeth and hair. These things matter to girls. A lot.
2 – Have a career and job: A job is important because it is important to have money in order to survive in our world. If you grow your own food and live very cheaply (it can be done) you don’t necessarily need a job as you can make money off it. As far as adding self-value, I doubt it. If you seek self-value from someone, thing, or activity, you will not find it. Self-value comes from one’s self. If you don’t value yourself – why would anyone else? As adviser I personally believe that there are several aspects in a job that are more important than the money anyone can earn doing it or for Torah Observant male and these are: Working in a good environment, having enough free time to enjoy his private life and liking what
he does are some of these characteristics. Not all is ‘spiritual’ as not all is physical.
When you have a job, you can at least say you are trying to make things better for yourself. Even starting your own business is a good idea (most Jews do). Women value , observent and watch for that. It’s a biblical example that a Torah Observant man have a job or occupaton. Anything that allows you to contribute to society and help the economy get back in better shape. If you have money, or have a business that eventually allows others to have jobs, can make things much easier for everyone else, better. Jobs have importance, and it is way important to get a job or start a business if you are thinking to get a girl (wife/start a family). It doesn’t matter if you are picking up the trash or making half the money you used to make. If you are able to go out and earn your money, you will feel better about yourself and you will be helping to solve the problem as opposed to making things worse in North America ( for instance here in Canada).
Learn to converse well. This is certainly an easy thing to advise, but clearly it’s a very difficult thing to achieve if you’re not the sort who naturally converses well. But don’t let that stop you. If you’re someone that has difficulty speaking with others, working on it will not only help you get girls to like you, it’ll also help in your interactions in just about every area of your life. So, how do you learn? Well, the simplest and most obvious way, is to study others that are good at it, then apply what you’ve observed. Another is to practice with someone who isn’t afraid of hurting your feelings. In general what you’ll learn is that good conversation generally involves listening and responding to what others have to say, and occasionally throwing in something of your own.
3 – Relax. Jewish girls seem to respond better to guys that appear calm and relaxed, especially when around them. They like it when guys appear to be in control, rather than shaking due to insecurity. Unfortunately, there’s really only one way to learn to relax around girls, and that is by getting used to it. So, you need to figure out how to be around Jewish girls more; like say, at work, in social settings, wherever the girls are, go be there. And then once you’re there, actually talk to some of them. Get used to doing so and over time, you’ll learn to relax more.
4 – Use your charm. This is another one of those tips that sounds so easy in the telling, but in reality is something truly difficult if you’re not one who possesses natural charm. But once again, difficult is not the same as impossible. People can learn to be more charming. The caveat though, is that you have to actually do things to improve. As with conversation skills, charm skills can be learned from watching how other guys charm women then try applying what you’ve seen. Also, you can practice with someone “safe” if need be, to help you see what works for you and what doesn’t.
5 – Develop a style. Think about yourself a moment. What sort of person are you? Do you feel that others see you as you see yourself? Quite often people wind up meandering through their life giving little thought to the image they project to others. If there is a mismatch between how one views themselves and what they project to the world, there is likely to be some dissonance in the minds of Jewish girls that you meet around activities, which is likely to lead to the opposite reaction you’re looking for. So, give it some thought. Think about how someone else might describe you to a jewish girl you’ve never met. Would it be the you you’d want to project? If not, perhaps there are things you could do to bring these two diverse vies of you together into something you’d feel comfortable with. Don’t be fake.
6 – Expand your interests. While it’s true that Jewish girls like big strong good looking guys, a lot of them also like guys that are interesting. And come to think of it, even if you are a big strong good looking guy, you might want to work on your interests as well or you might have trouble holding on to that Jewish girl. Think about it. If all you do is be at the synagogue praying or at the Yeshiva or If all you do is sit around watching soccer (football or baseball) or playing video games all day, what’s to really like about you? If you want a Jewish girl to like you, you have to give her something to work with. Look at the world around you, find something that interests you, and get into it. And then, do it again and again till you find you have a variety of interests. While girls may not be into the things you find you like, they will be interested in you for having some depth.
7 – Work on your humor. Jewish girls like guys that make them laugh. Simple as that. If you’re not someone that has a natural gift for humor, than find other ways to make them laugh – memorize jokes, or funny things you’ve seen on television. Or simply note things you’ve found as funny as you’ve been going through your days and relate them when an opportunity shows itself. Whatever it is, make it a part of your life, so that it will come naturally when you want to share a laugh with someone.
8 – Enhance your social etiquette. If you are Torah Observant, this one simple tip is probably more important than all of the others combined, because the biggest hurdle to getting Jewish girls to like you, is generally knowing when and what is “right” or “proper” when presenting yourself. Social etiquette encompasses an enormous range of verbal and behavioral skills that when brought together as a whole, form the basis for how others see you. Some examples: during conversation, it’s generally best if both parties speak in somewhat equal amounts. In other words, if neither dominates the conversation. People that do so are considered bores, and girls generally get tired and walk away. Another example is learning what sorts of jokes or topics of conversation are appropriate. It’s easy to offend if you go to far or broach topics that others find out of place. Finally, there are literally hundreds of other little societal niceties that you may or may not have learned; like not belching, farting or swearing around girls. Or picking your nose. Or pretty much anything most would consider crude or disgusting. Yeah, it might get you attention, but it’s not going to make anybody like you.
9 – Compliment and give gifts. Yes, it’s generally true. All Jewish girls like gifts. NOT STINGY GUYS ALLOWED. But it has to be done right or it will drive them away. For example don’t give a Jewish girl any gifts at all until you know her. And then, if you want to give a gift, make it something simple and sweet, not something extravagant or ridiculously out of proportion to the bounds of your relationship. Also, never give anything personal unless the jewish girl has shown some interest in you in a personal sort of way. As an example, don’t give or send a girl some flowers until she knows who you are and has demonstrated some interest in you in a more than platonic way. As for compliments. Again, it’s generally true that girls like compliments, but they have to be given in moderation or they lose their impact.
10 – Be Courageous or braver. Finally, if you want Jewish girls to like you, become more bold. Work on any shyness. Ask them to join an charity activity, go skate, biking or dance at socials, talk to them casually at work. Ask them out. In short, suck it up and get out there and present yourself to the world. The Jewish girls out there aren’t ever going to find things to like about you, if you’re not out there participating in the part of the world where they live.
These ten tips on how to get a Jewishg girl to like you can be used by pretty much any guy that is currently having trouble meeting girls at the synagogue activities or Jewish events, getting to know them and vice-versa, and of course getting them to like you. If this is you, I hope these tips have helped. Shalom.
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